Thursday, November 5, 2009

Really, They Are Peaceful Weapons

You betcha, bubba. Three hundred or more tons of ever-so-peaceful rockets, grenades, and similar devices intended to turn noisy, truculent people into nice, quiet, very peaceful corpses.

All right thinking, cosmopolitan people are perfectly well aware that Iran, Syria, Hezbollah, and Hamas really compose a sort of social network bringing together the downtrodden, the oppressed, the marginalized, the poverty stricken toiling masses of the Mideast in a joint venture for mutual uplift and benefit. The several parties harbor no ill-will for anyone or any country. And, anyway, it was all a big lie foisted off on the world by the "official pirates" of that global bully, Israel as the kindly, avuncular Foreign Minister, Walid Moallem, stated during his sightseeing visit to Tehran.

Only a mentally stunted person would question ForMin Moallem on the matter. The sagacious diplomat ignoring a few inconvenient truths such as the simple fact the ship seized by the piratical Israeli naval commandos had departed Iran bound for Syria when he chastised the warmongering Israelis for interrupting normal commercial trade between Syria and Iran. In his perceptive analysis of the situation, the foreign minister informed the world that the innocent conveyor of civilian commerce was en route from Syria to Iran.

Well, if the Syrian foreign minister says so, it must be so since no Syrian (or Iranian for that matter) state official would tell a lie. No. Lying is the sole province of those wily Israelis and their co-conspirators in the US.

No one disputes that the containers filled with the aforementioned lethal paraphernalia were clearly marked as "parts for bulldozers." Since the containers were owned by the state shipping line of Iran and no good Iranian Muslim would lie the matter should have ended right there.

However, showing their true base nature, the bloodthirsty pirates were not deterred and no doubt employing the cutlasses carried between the teeth as they swung aboard the German owned Antigua registered ship proceeded to rip the containers open. One can almost hear the collective shout of "Ho! Ho! Ho!" and similar piratical lyrics as the peaceful contents of the innocent civilian containers were shown to have been mislabeled.

Enraged in their blood lust by the exposure not of peaceloving parts for earthmoving equipment but rather equally peaceloving military souvenirs, the pirates, eye patches firmly in place and again gripping the cutlasses between their fangs, proceeded to force the ship to dock in their lair in Israel. Nerves jangled and testosterone flowing at the sight of the handful of historical military memorabilia, the pirates and their masters called in the world media to view the display of ill gotten swag--all several hundred tons of it.

Hidden by the whistles, bells, and disinformation of the pirates' noise machine of shrill discord was the truth of the matter. It was all a clerical error. Back in Iran, or in Syria if the truth telling and not at all confused as to time and place foreign minister is to be followed, some humble and exploited minor figure in the shipping office of the Ministry of Innocent and Peaceful Devices, put the wrong label on the several containers.

That's all there is to it, folks. A minor, quite unintended human error by a harried clerk. It is a small but very important detail. The label should have read, "Military Memorabilia, Assorted Kinds."

The pirates and their thuggish superiors once again hoping to stir the fear and anger of a gullible world against the Social Network of Oppressed Islamic Peoples knew the truth. They knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the intentions of those shipping and receiving the equipment, the rockets, the grenades, and all the rest were peaceful.

These pirates, these thuggish and conniving superiors, all alike knew perfectly well that the senders and recipients alike were dedicated to peace. The peace of the graveyard.

Fortunately the truth will out in this case as it has been regarding the civilians only nuclear program of the Islamist defenders of the Koran directed "religion of peace and tolerance." The truth will out: Perfect tolerance and perfect peace are the property of the cemetary.

And, the sooner all the infidels and apostates in the world find their spot in this particular piece of real estate the sooner peace will reign.

As Allah wills.

No comments: